Is it GODZILLA?
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Yeah, that’s what I said. Click here and scroll down.

Feeling old? Think it’s unfair that people start looking at you like you’re a senior citizen when you’re only 48? It’s time to move to Turkmenistan, where President Saparmurat Niyazov has recently postponed the onset of old age to 85. Never mind that the average life expectancy in his country is only 61 and 65 for men and women respectively.

What I want to know is, what does this do to the drinking age?

Thanks to Jeff (whose site will be back up soon, we promise) for the link.

OK, I’m sorry but someone needs to help me understand this. I may be naive, but did we really need another, special law to let corporate entities know that they’re not allowed to steal from or lie to people? I could have sworn that fraud already was illegal, just like larceny and homicide. But clearly laws don’t normally apply in the corporate world, else it would be way too hard to make and pocket billions of dollars. I have to wonder what this law actually says. I mean, I realize it’s probably about 250 pages long and all, but what’s the gist? How is it different from the other ‘thou-shalt-not-commit-fraud’ laws currently on the books? I’m thinking maybe something like:

No stealing, lying, cheating, or other malfeasance. No, really. This means you.

The best part, of course, is that the Dubya administration is already reinterpreting the law they just signed.

And another precious little tidbit from this morning’s news: IBM is buying Pricewaterhouse Coopers’ consulting arm [press release]. Well, PwC also happens to do IBM’s auditing. Guess who’s going to do the auditing after the purchase goes through (on all but the consulting arm, small comfort)? Yup, that’s right: PwC! And the SEC approved this arrangement. [NYTimes article]

Heaven preserve us. Somebody’s got to.

Karen pointed out that the idea behind this song seems to play a bit on Hegel’s of the universal rug/weave of which we are all a part…

we’ve all got things that are hanging about

things that make us cool, things that make us whack, things that make us mad

things we wish we never had done

but they’re just the things that make us real

not the maps to guide where we go from here

the road twists and braids our hair

until we all get there…

Braided Hair – Speech and Neneh Cherry [3.8MB], from the 1 Giant Leap CD

Anybody got a spare one-way ticket to Manila?

Dear Altoids:

I would like to register a complaint regarding your recently released Curiously Strong Tangerine Sours. In the space of four days, my entire family – myself, my husband, and our 6-year-old son Jimmy – became seriously addicted to your little orange orbs of destruction. Two weeks later, we find ourselves wondering which will disappear first – our family bank account or our collective stomach linings. Now that our combined daily habit is up to 36 tins, and since the candies are not yet available in bulk at our local Sam’s Club, we have been reduced to splitting up to cover all of the grocery and convenience stores in a tri-county area just to get our fix.

Moreover, I have developed compound cold sores from the acidity of the sour coating, and poor Jimmy complains of a constant stomach ache. We tried to keep the candies away from him by placing them in a locked kitchen cabinet, but after he spent 45 minutes banging his head on the cupboard door and wailing we feared he might do himself harm and gave him what he wanted – a fresh tin all to himself. Twenty minutes later, he was back for more.

We were a normal, happy family before this madness began. We were fine, upstanding members of our community, and Jimmy was at the top of his 2nd grade class. Now, we’re junkies, any time we spend without the ‘Rinies spent fantasizing about our next fix. I beg you, in the name of all that’s sacred, to remove these candied bites of doom from the market before the entire nation is enslaved.

It’s too late for my family, but there may be hope for others. Please, I urge you to take action now. Now, before it’s too late.

Sincerely,

Soured Out in Saugatuck

And, as promised, here’s a little all-but-forgotten gem from the 80s: Party Time – Jazz Butchers, c. 1983 [6.3MB]

Enjoy!

I had not realized, when I watched the baby giraffe dancing with its mama at the Zoo, that giraffes had such violence deep in their nature. Apparently, giraffes have been implicated in two deaths recently in Nairobi. In the latter incident, the giraffe – rather than spending a life in prison, scorned by and cut off from his friends and family – chose to take his own life by leaping from a cliff. We at custom-deluxe wish him peace.

Links via Davezilla and Phineas.

On Davezilla’s advice, off I went to Google and entered “Louisa is”… (roll over the asterisks for commentary)

LOUISA IS IDENTIFIED IN OHIO*

Louisa is the cutest baby ever

Louisa is still trying to get Milton to be a little more sure of himself and wants to date him*

Louisa is approximately 1088*

Louisa is a dream

Louisa is burning

Louisa is rescued by Fogg

Louisa is pregnant*

Louisa is not the end all for cuisine

Louisa is a very large county*

Louisa is located just 50 miles from the state capital*

Louisa is one of the most shallow in the Chain of Lakes

Louisa is bringing “The Revelation of Jesus Christ” to Ontario!

Louisa is the victim of its own success

Louisa is on a giant staircase

Louisa is also the home to the first “needle” dam*

Louisa is able to speak fluent English, Mandarin and Cantonese, and is in the process of mastering the Korean language.

Louisa is a 14″ (35.6 cm) Caramel brown Vintage Woolex teddy bear*

Louisa is suspect in the holding camp

Louisa is no dummy