{"id":40,"date":"2001-11-24T05:45:00","date_gmt":"2001-11-24T04:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/2001\/11\/kicking_and_screaming.html"},"modified":"2001-11-24T05:45:00","modified_gmt":"2001-11-24T04:45:00","slug":"kicking_and_screaming","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/2001\/11\/24\/kicking_and_screaming\/","title":{"rendered":"kicking and screaming"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>i always feel a grudging sort of gratitude when a snippet of pop culture triggers something.  my academic side rebels against it, but there it is just the same.  <\/p>\n<p>so i was watching sex and the city tonight and there was this episode i&#8217;ve never seen before (which isn&#8217;t really very surprising) and in it carrie&#8217;s dating all these freaks and she eventually turns into one herself.  but it&#8217;s not the plot that got me.  what got me was this bit in the closing monologue about her finding her own inner freak, &#8220;the woman whose fear ate her sanity&#8221;.  and it occurred to me that that&#8217;s me.  i&#8217;ve been so afraid of fucking up, of doing the wrong thing, of making the wrong choice, of being alone, of not being loved, of all these things i&#8217;ve sworn not to be afraid of, that the fear has taken over and i&#8217;m not in control of my own life anymore.  and i decided it&#8217;s time to stop.  <\/p>\n<p>and it&#8217;s not quite better yet, but it will be.  <\/p>\n<p>i will be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>i always feel a grudging sort of gratitude when a snippet of pop culture triggers something. my academic side rebels&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorised"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}