{"id":338,"date":"2006-05-30T16:01:00","date_gmt":"2006-05-30T14:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/2006\/5\/of_muumuus_and.html"},"modified":"2006-05-30T16:01:00","modified_gmt":"2006-05-30T14:01:00","slug":"of_muumuus_and","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/2006\/05\/30\/of_muumuus_and\/","title":{"rendered":"of muumuus and lard"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m now in a panic because I\u2019m going to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cliffbarns.com\/pages\/about.html\" title=\"A weekend in the country...\" target=\"_blank\">The Mansion<\/a> this weekend which will presumably dictate the wearing of skimpy clothing and perhaps even a [gasp] bikini.  And what with all the roast dinners I\u2019ve been eating and the lager I was guzzling right up until the weekend, my belly has developed a style of movement all its own (a la Santa Clause) and I\u2019m bulging out of all but my most elasticated clothing like a bountiful tub of top-quality lard.  Or perhaps duck fat.   I don\u2019t suppose it\u2019s possible to lose a stone in a week, is it?  No, thought not.<\/p>\n<p>So, plan B: spend the entire weekend in a voluminous silk <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Caftan\" title=\"Kaftan or Muumuu?  Muumuu or Kaftan?\" target=\"_blank\">Kaftan<\/a> or <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Muumuu\" title=\"Kaftan or Muumuu?  Muumuu or Kaftan?\" target=\"_blank\">Muumuu<\/a> (what is the difference, really, anyway?), turban and ginormous shades, carrying a telescoping cigarette holder in one hand and a martini in the other, channelling Joan Crawford, Rosalind Russell or the 40s Hollywood Diva of your choice.<\/p>\n<p>Does anyone know where I can get a muumuu, <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wiktionary.org\/wiki\/stat\" title=\"as in, NOW\" target=\"_blank\">stat?<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m now in a panic because I\u2019m going to The Mansion this weekend which will presumably dictate the wearing of&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-338","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorised"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/338","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=338"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/338\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=338"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=338"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=338"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}