{"id":203,"date":"2003-12-04T14:53:00","date_gmt":"2003-12-04T13:53:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/2003\/12\/what_do_you_want_for_christmas.html"},"modified":"2003-12-04T14:53:00","modified_gmt":"2003-12-04T13:53:00","slug":"what_do_you_want_for_christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/2003\/12\/04\/what_do_you_want_for_christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"what do you want for christmas, little girl?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Who knew that the local Jewel\/Osco was so full of fabulous gift ideas? Yesterday afternoon, I was staggered by the sheer volume of fantastic merchandise, and will therefore take this opportunity to share with you some of my most coveted items:<\/p>\n

\"what<\/p>\n

I’m not entirely sure what this is, but the name is so evocative, so lyrical… I just gotta have some.<\/p>\n

\"creepy<\/p>\n

What well-appointed bathroom could be complete without the creepy monkey loofah? A must-have for every fashionable household…<\/p>\n

\"who<\/p>\n

I love a good game of cards as much as the next person, but don’t you find the regular decks so, well, bland<\/i>? A good dose of pink will brighten up any game of Texas Hold ‘Em, and how better than with the queen of all things rosy, Ms. Barbie herself?<\/p>\n

\"stocking<\/p>\n

And while we’re on the whole poker party subject, I can’t count the number of times I’ve been asked on those nights: “Weeza, this is great, but where are the appletinis?” Well, friends, armed with the fabulous stocking of DeKuypers worst poison<\/strike> yummiest elixirs, I’ll be able to whip one up, pronto.<\/p>\n

\"best.<\/p>\n

Finally, it’s always so difficult to choose a wall calendar that truly expresses one’s persona. I was tempted initially by the Care Bears calendar down at the Osco, but when I saw this one at my local FedEx drop point, I knew I’d found what I was looking for. Baby animals, posed and terrified-looking – it just doesn’t get a whole lot better than this, folks.<\/p>\n

So I don’t want to hear any guff this year about how hard I am to shop for. Capisce?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Who knew that the local Jewel\/Osco was so full of fabulous gift ideas? Yesterday afternoon, I was staggered by the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-203","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorised"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/203","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=203"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/203\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=203"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=203"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=203"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}