{"id":117,"date":"2002-05-15T16:07:00","date_gmt":"2002-05-15T14:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/2002\/5\/and_ladies.html"},"modified":"2002-05-15T16:07:00","modified_gmt":"2002-05-15T14:07:00","slug":"and_ladies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/2002\/05\/15\/and_ladies\/","title":{"rendered":"…and ladies…"},"content":{"rendered":"

As some of you have heard, Davezilla<\/a> and I have been working on some tools to help you in your mating-and-dating life. We figured sometimes the sexes don’t communicate quite as well as they should. So herewith, we present a little something for the ladies. [The gentlemen’s counterpart can be found here<\/a>.]<\/p>\n

Part Two: Men’s Glossary<\/b><\/p>\n

Conceived and written by Davezilla<\/a><\/p>\n

Whatever<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. So? I can’t do anything about it<\/li>\n
  2. You’re boring as Hell.<\/li>\n
  3. Shut up, the Man Show<\/em> is on!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Fine<\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Yeah umm… I can’t think of anything to say in this situation.<\/li>\n
    2. Yes, your hideous little sister can go to the movies with us. But she pays her own way.<\/li>\n
    3. I’m going to drink out of every single container in the kitchen when you’re asleep and leave some backwash.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      What do you<\/em> want to do?<\/strong><\/p>\n

        \n
      1. I’m going to sleep through it anyway.<\/li>\n
      2. We’re only seeing that stupid<\/em> musical if it has some tits.<\/li>\n
      3. I don’t care. Your friend is tagging along and she bends over a lot.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Is that<\/em> what you’re wearing?<\/strong><\/p>\n

          \n
        1. I thought you had the ability to discern our Earth colors.<\/li>\n
        2. I see. It conveniently hides your stretch marks.<\/li>\n
        3. Great. I’m dating a Potato Bug with heels.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          I’m happy as long as you are<\/strong><\/p>\n

            \n
          1. I have beer.<\/li>\n
          2. The new issue of Tail Ends<\/em> came in today.<\/li>\n
          3. I can see your nipples through that shirt.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            How’s your mother?<\/strong><\/p>\n

              \n
            1. Isn’t she dead yet, and why not?<\/li>\n
            2. I ate cheap, Mexican food today. I’m going to sit next to her.<\/li>\n
            3. If you turn into that Velociraptor when you’re her age, I’ll have you put down. Not a court in the land would dare<\/em> convict me.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              Let’s just be friends<\/strong><\/p>\n

                \n
              1. Your best friend has a nicer rack.<\/li>\n
              2. You are so<\/em> lame in bed, I thought I was committing necrophilia.<\/li>\n
              3. You’re… a girl?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                I love you<\/strong><\/p>\n

                  \n
                1. You’re sensitive, caring, beautiful and don’t fuck with my tools.<\/li>\n
                2. I like thongs. You wear thongs. And that’s a good, good thing.<\/li>\n
                3. You’re the first chick who didn’t slap me when I tried that. Cool.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                  As some of you have heard, Davezilla and I have been working on some tools to help you in your…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorised"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=117"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=117"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/custom-deluxe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}