“Some people think they are ready for anything… Then they realize that women are laughing at their trousers, and they crawl back into their pitiful, meaningless, cubicle lives.”
You’ve gotta love that one of the selling features is that they’re “designed to expand 2″ in the waist”. That’s like saying, “I know I’m a fatass pig who can’t keep my greasy paws offa the ice cream, beer and pork rinds for a single fucking second so I might as well buy some pants that I won’t have to replace in a week.”
Today his best client will move the meeting up from 8 to 7. Cause his best client is only 11 and it’s to dark to go outside then.
He hop a commuter plane just as the doors are closing, but thanks to the amazing space age polymer in Sansabelt trousers, he can squeeze those last gut-busting inches through the steel doors.
Spontaneously accept an invitation to play a round of golf, and subsequently, fall to his knees clutching his chest from angina pains.
Write a proposal as he flies home… from his mistress’ home.
Kick a soccer ball with the kids [because his peers can outplay his andipose, doughy form any day of the week].
And take his wife out for a nice dinner.. at the Sizzler.
I gave up on pants a long time ago. It’s all jumpsuits for me now, baby. Jumpsuits with red white ‘n’ blue spangles all over ’em. Preferrably in the pattern of a big eagle on the back.
Davezilla 11 March 2002 at 13:03
“Some people think they are ready for anything… Then they realize that women are laughing at their trousers, and they crawl back into their pitiful, meaningless, cubicle lives.”
stephen 11 March 2002 at 13:06
All I want to know is where the “nice dinner” is. I’m all over that. Them’s some fancy pants.
weeza 11 March 2002 at 13:06
You’ve gotta love that one of the selling features is that they’re “designed to expand 2″ in the waist”. That’s like saying, “I know I’m a fatass pig who can’t keep my greasy paws offa the ice cream, beer and pork rinds for a single fucking second so I might as well buy some pants that I won’t have to replace in a week.”
stephen riley 11 March 2002 at 13:09
yeah. i heard sweatpants are coming back. Or those fun workout pants with the purpley prints that fat guys on the south side wear.
its all about the expandability, baby. I mean you really cant make that shot in their ad wearing like dockers or something. Puh-leaze.
Phineas 11 March 2002 at 13:11
Some sansabelt trousers will be the perfect compliment to your FlowBee haircut! See you all at WalMart!
Davezilla 11 March 2002 at 13:15
Today his best client will move the meeting up from 8 to 7. Cause his best client is only 11 and it’s to dark to go outside then.
He hop a commuter plane just as the doors are closing, but thanks to the amazing space age polymer in Sansabelt trousers, he can squeeze those last gut-busting inches through the steel doors.
Spontaneously accept an invitation to play a round of golf, and subsequently, fall to his knees clutching his chest from angina pains.
Write a proposal as he flies home… from his mistress’ home.
Kick a soccer ball with the kids [because his peers can outplay his andipose, doughy form any day of the week].
And take his wife out for a nice dinner.. at the Sizzler.
jima 11 March 2002 at 14:54
I gave up on pants a long time ago. It’s all jumpsuits for me now, baby. Jumpsuits with red white ‘n’ blue spangles all over ’em. Preferrably in the pattern of a big eagle on the back.
stephen 11 March 2002 at 15:21
and typically enough, these incredible fancyPants are all over ebay.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=705159711
ruby red, baby. the only way to go.