For those of you who missed it, Phineas, Molly, Stephen and I had a bangup time seeing Coz do the open mic thing at Vaughan’s Pub last night. Lots of people play lots of 80s tunes that we just happen to know all the words to. It’s kind of like the Brew & View with music instead. Although I must say I don’t know whether to be proud or ashamed of the fact that I and all my friends know the lyrics to songs by the J.Geils Band.
Anyway. As if the musical festivities weren’t enough, someone at some point said something that we all agreed should have been a haiku. Which, as you might imagine, led to some trouble. Here are some of my favorites, freshly transposed from the original cocktail napkins just for you:
should be a haiku
drives too fast and talks too much
but it’s really not.
[Molly]
…and then there was the mullet phase…
matching mullets and
auto parts jackets prove our
love is eternal
[Phineas]
in the corner store
rare breed, mexican mullet
it will race for you
[me]
…followed by the inevitable economic debate…
louisa buys beer
phineas buys beer as well
molly buys no beer
[Molly]
irresponsible
shoes and drinks and eating out
molly buys no beer
[ibid]
poverty haiku
internet has claimed one more
someone must be blamed
[me]
…did I mention the bass player?
i play my bass now
all with the shaking of ass
what, you don’t like me?
[Stephen]
i play bass real good
least that’s what my friends all say
you should worship me
[me]
i play bass real good
my friends told me, “start a band!
just please do not sing.”
[Molly]
… and then it got late.
too late for haiku
not too late for one more beer
silly people, sing!
[me]
beer stains on napkins
too late nights with too much
sleepy happy kids
[Molly]
the moral of the story:
write some bad haiku
when you’re sober, they’re stupid
fuck it, we were drunk.
[me]
Thank you. Thankyouverymuch. And a good day to you all.
If Mister Phineas didn’t take no pictures of this outing, I’ll be very disappointed. Because he takes pictures of everything.
Also: if we can’t compose haiku whilst simultaneously performing karaoke, the terrorists have already won.
God bless the terrorists have already won stories. If a brown cow gives birth to a blue goat laying Omega 3 eggs… you know the rest
You got it wrong. If a brown cow doesn’t gives birth to a blue goat laying Omega 3 eggs …
No, actually it’s If a brown cow doesn’t gives birth to a blue goat laying organic free range hen eggs…
oh, fuck it. I have no idea what you people are talking about. That probably means the terrorists have won, right?