Arrr!

For those of you who were (blissfully) unaware, yesterday was Talk Like a Pirate Day. After Brady reminded me of this, I reminded dear Phineas, who took to it like a ship to sea. I’m telling you people, nobody can talk like a pirate like Phineas can talk like a pirate. He’s, like, Bluebeard’s long lost great great great great grandson. Or something. To wit:

L: Arrr, matey! Tis talkin’ like a pirate day, ye scurvy dog!

P: Aye, that it be. I be wanting of a bottle o’ rum and some wenches! Arrr!

L: Arrr! Aye, I could do with a strappin’ young sailor to board meself! Will ye be wantin’ te join me for feedin’ later on?

P: I surely be, says I. But I must get back to port and fetch me skiff first. Arrr!

L: Ye’ll want to be quick about it, er I’ll hang ye from the yardarm!

P: I’ll see ya in Davy Jones’ Locker first, ya wharf rat!

L: Arrr! I’ll clean me cutlass with yr lubber’s blood!

P: I’ll give yr ribcage to me parrot for a home, drink me grog from yr brain case and throw what’s left to the squids and barnacles!

L: Arr, yer not fit to walk me plank! Me cat’ll make short work o ye!

L: [later, obviously forgetting myself again] Running late- go on in , will be there asap

P: Avast, matey! Already here with a bucket o’ grog! Center front, me hearty! Arrr!

See that ye be buyin’ more grog when ye gets ashore! I’m a thirsty pirate, says I! And where be all the wenches at? I’ve been at sea a long time…

L: Aye, me hearty! I be hankerin fer the taste o young and tender flesh meself!

P: Arrr! Ye scurvy old sea dog! Can’t get enough, can ye? I’ll have ya keelhauled!

One of the things we noticed is that pirate speak is chock full of excellent euphemisms for sex: walk me plank; shiver me timbers; prepare to be boarded… Got any more that I’m missing?

If only every day were Talk Like a Pirate Day!