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June 28, 2002

:: To Whom It May Concern ::

Dear Altoids:

I would like to register a complaint regarding your recently released Curiously Strong Tangerine Sours. In the space of four days, my entire family - myself, my husband, and our 6-year-old son Jimmy - became seriously addicted to your little orange orbs of destruction. Two weeks later, we find ourselves wondering which will disappear first - our family bank account or our collective stomach linings. Now that our combined daily habit is up to 36 tins, and since the candies are not yet available in bulk at our local Sam's Club, we have been reduced to splitting up to cover all of the grocery and convenience stores in a tri-county area just to get our fix.

Moreover, I have developed compound cold sores from the acidity of the sour coating, and poor Jimmy complains of a constant stomach ache. We tried to keep the candies away from him by placing them in a locked kitchen cabinet, but after he spent 45 minutes banging his head on the cupboard door and wailing we feared he might do himself harm and gave him what he wanted - a fresh tin all to himself. Twenty minutes later, he was back for more.

We were a normal, happy family before this madness began. We were fine, upstanding members of our community, and Jimmy was at the top of his 2nd grade class. Now, we're junkies, any time we spend without the 'Rinies spent fantasizing about our next fix. I beg you, in the name of all that's sacred, to remove these candied bites of doom from the market before the entire nation is enslaved.

It's too late for my family, but there may be hope for others. Please, I urge you to take action now. Now, before it's too late.

Sincerely,

Soured Out in Saugatuck

June 27, 2002

:: Partytime! ::

And, as promised, here's a little all-but-forgotten gem from the 80s: Party Time - Jazz Butchers, c. 1983 [6.3MB]

Enjoy!

:: The Secret Lives of Giraffes ::

I had not realized, when I watched the baby giraffe dancing with its mama at the Zoo, that giraffes had such violence deep in their nature. Apparently, giraffes have been implicated in two deaths recently in Nairobi. In the latter incident, the giraffe - rather than spending a life in prison, scorned by and cut off from his friends and family - chose to take his own life by leaping from a cliff. We at custom-deluxe wish him peace.

Links via Davezilla and Phineas.

June 26, 2002

:: More Googleicious Fun! ::

On Davezilla's advice, off I went to Google and entered "Louisa is"... (roll over the asterisks for commentary)

LOUISA IS IDENTIFIED IN OHIO*

Louisa is the cutest baby ever

Louisa is still trying to get Milton to be a little more sure of himself and wants to date him*

Louisa is approximately 1088*

Louisa is a dream

Louisa is burning

Louisa is rescued by Fogg

Louisa is pregnant*

Louisa is not the end all for cuisine

Louisa is a very large county*

Louisa is located just 50 miles from the state capital*

Louisa is one of the most shallow in the Chain of Lakes

Louisa is bringing "The Revelation of Jesus Christ" to Ontario!

Louisa is the victim of its own success

Louisa is on a giant staircase

Louisa is also the home to the first "needle" dam*

Louisa is able to speak fluent English, Mandarin and Cantonese, and is in the process of mastering the Korean language.

Louisa is a 14" (35.6 cm) Caramel brown Vintage Woolex teddy bear*

Louisa is suspect in the holding camp

Louisa is no dummy

June 12, 2002

:: Fun with SPAM ::

This found its way to my inbox this morning:

June 10, 2002

:: Coolstop, here I come! ::

As many of you know, I have been halfheartedly pecking away at a redesign. Sadly, time and inclination have not often come toether for me, so I've not gotten far, despite a deep deep neglect of my posting and therefore you, kind readers. So it is with tremendous pleasure that I hereby announce I have found the perfect person to do my redesign for me - you can see some of his fine work here. We're working on a palette even now...

June 5, 2002

:: Your Education Dollars at Work ::

The following is an excerpt from a real, live e-mail that found its way into my in-box this morning. And I thought misused apostrophes were bad...

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