No really, I am a superhero.

art © Tim Goldman 2008. thanks, Tim!


In 1999, after a couple of years fiddling with that blogging thing on various other people's domains, I thought I had enough things to say to merit my very own corner of this here interweb. In 2007, I suddenly ran out of ammo. Thankfully, that didn't last forever... So, I'm back. Still not dead yet. Like a phoenix from the ashes. Behold.

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January 30, 2002

:: open mic ::

For those of you who missed it, Phineas, Molly, Stephen and I had a bangup time seeing Coz do the open mic thing at Vaughan's Pub last night. Lots of people play lots of 80s tunes that we just happen to know all the words to. It's kind of like the Brew & View with music instead. Although I must say I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed of the fact that I and all my friends know the lyrics to songs by the J.Geils Band.

Anyway. As if the musical festivities weren't enough, someone at some point said something that we all agreed should have been a haiku. Which, as you might imagine, led to some trouble. Here are some of my favorites, freshly transposed from the original cocktail napkins just for you:

should be a haiku

drives too fast and talks too much

but it's really not.


...and then there was the mullet phase...

matching mullets and

auto parts jackets prove our

love is eternal


in the corner store

rare breed, mexican mullet

it will race for you


...followed by the inevitable economic debate...

louisa buys beer

phineas buys beer as well

molly buys no beer



shoes and drinks and eating out

molly buys no beer


poverty haiku

internet has claimed one more

someone must be blamed


...did I mention the bass player?

i play my bass now

all with the shaking of ass

what, you don't like me?


i play bass real good

least that's what my friends all say

you should worship me


i play bass real good

my friends told me, "start a band!

just please do not sing."


... and then it got late.

too late for haiku

not too late for one more beer

silly people, sing!


beer stains on napkins

too late nights with too much

sleepy happy kids


the moral of the story:

write some bad haiku

when you're sober, they're stupid

fuck it, we were drunk.


Thank you. Thankyouverymuch. And a good day to you all.

posted by miss weeza at 3:40 PM | comments (5)


If Mister Phineas didn't take no pictures of this outing, I'll be very disappointed. Because he takes pictures of everything.

Also: if we can't compose haiku whilst simultaneously performing karaoke, the terrorists have already won.

God bless the terrorists have already won stories. If a brown cow gives birth to a blue goat laying Omega 3 eggs... you know the rest

You got it wrong. If a brown cow doesn't gives birth to a blue goat laying Omega 3 eggs ...

No, actually it's If a brown cow doesn't gives birth to a blue goat laying organic free range hen eggs...

oh, fuck it. I have no idea what you people are talking about. That probably means the terrorists have won, right?